memories of my nana II

That night we got a call that she had died. I will never forgive myself for not going to see her one last time. I felt so selfish because I wanted to go to my friends instead of visiting the only grand parent that has ever been there for me. Now she is gone and there isn’t anything that I can do about it. The thought of never seeing her again as well as going to her funeral terrified me.
Nana’s showing wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I didn’t cry too much. The fact that she was dead didn’t seem to be real yet. I also had been expecting her to die for a while. Her death wasn’t out of the blue, but she had been dying for quite some time. Me knowing that she was going to die made it a little more bearable. Although I knew this would be the last time I saw her, I didn’t want to go up to her coffin.
The walk up to her coffin seemed so long. My younger sisters and I walked up together. By this point I was crying. We got up to the side of her coffin and saw my Nana lying in the casket as if she was sleeping. She had on her favorite baby blue dress that her and I had picked out years before. It was her favorite dress, and she always told everyone that when she died that is the dress she wanted to be buried in. I touched her hand and kissed her forehead. She was extremely cold. She felt fake. She wasn’t warm and welcoming like she had once been. Seeing her made me realize that she is dead and isn’t coming back. This would be the last time I would ever see her. Once she was buried the only thing I would be able to see would be her headstone.
The drive to the cemetery was a quite ride. No one in the car said a word. I was remembering all the memories my Nana and I had shared. When I was a little kid I would spend the night with her at least once a month. At night her and I would go to her friend Ruth’s apartment to visit . Ruth always had a full candy dish. I would always eat her candy. The next morning we would get up early and go eat donuts in the main lobby. Nana had a lot of friends at her apartment complex. Everyone that lived there were old because it was a retirement complex. After we ate our donuts we would walk to the bus stop and wait for it to pick us up. We always rode the bus to go shopping. Nana loved to shop. I began to cry more because I was never going to get to spend the night with Nana ever again. We had finally arrived at the cemetery.
There was a big, black cast iron fence that surrounded the cemetery. All the headstones were flat. I remember asking my mom why all of them looked like that. She told me it was because that was the only kind that was aloud there. We drove around a black top circle and came to a stop.
The area where Nana was going to be buried was pretty. She was going to be laid to rest next to her husband. There were angel statues with a bench in between them next to her grave plot. It was a pretty spot. There were two great big trees shading the bench. It was time to go under the green tent and say our final good-byes to Nana.
The preacher began the ceremony with a prayer. I bowed my head with tears running down my cheek and listened to the prayer. When the preacher quit talking we each grabbed a flower to place on top of her casket. I chose a pink rose. After that her casket began to be lower into the ground. I walked away and sat in the car. I knew life was never going be the same because my Nana was gone.