You state "Till death do we part" or stay together for the kids. From personal experience being the child involved with her parents separating, staying together just for the kids is not fair. It’s not fair for the children or the parents pretending to love when they know they don't. Three and a half years ago my parents decided not to be together anymore, it was a sudden shock to me and my siblings. We all thought about how and why this had happened. The day before everyone seemed fine, all hunky dory, and the next, I got the biggest shock of my life. I could never see my parents separated, we were the perfect family, so I thought.
I don’t want my whole life story out on the net so long story short I finally worked up the courage to ask them what had happened and why the all of a sudden change in heart. They proceeded to explain to me that because of us kids they didn't want to mention anything, they just wanted to pretend everything was okay. I think that tore me up more than anything. Just because kids are involved does not mean that two people are supposed to stay together. The parents deserve to be happy as well as the kids. The kids will learn when they are old enough to understand, why their mom and dad did not stay together.
If the parents are good parents they will know exactly what to say to their kids. No need to "bash" the other parent because they are still the mother or father of their kids. They wouldn't have those kids if it weren't for the other parent.
My parents will always love each other, but it's not the type of love that married people have. It's the type of love that two parents who share kids have for each other. My mom will always love my dad because he is my dad; and vice versa for my dad about my mom. I know your opinion is your opinion and you have it for a reason, and don't misunderstand I am far from calling you wrong. BUT...the fact that parents stay together and pretend to love each other just for the kids’ sake is wrong. Trust me, it’s not fair and it hurts even worse to know that the whole time you were basically being lied to by your own parents. I do however believe that two people should at least try to make it work because of the children. In this case it would be like and unexpected pregnancy. Those two parents may think that it will never work between them and all of a sudden a baby happens, they should try. If it doesn’t work, well that’s what trying is for.
This so called journey that I have been through with them has taught me a lot about relationships; what they should and should not be. Because of my parents I know that pretending is not the way to go and they need to be happy also. The children will learn that the decision their parents made was only for the best, not meaning to hurt anyone in the process.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Road-Cormac McCarthy
A book written by Cormac McCarthy called "The Road" was the last reading assignment given in my Engl 112 class. We were assigned to read this book and be prepared to be involved with the class discussion. I started reading the book over Thanksgiving "break" and finished it by the second week of December. In the beginning it was quite difficult to keep open, nothing in the book was catching my eye; but I got over that and just kept reading. I knew it had to be done.
The boy and his father are walking along a road somewhere in the United States. We are never told exactly where but we do know that they are walking south. The narrator is describing the surroundings as very ashy. First thing I think of is "oh, there was a fire, the whole city is burned, and basically nothing left of this place." Well as they keep walking, the description of the surroundings never changes. Now that’s a little odd to me. How would the whole entire country looking like this? Burned to nothing.
The boy and his father continue down this road to what seems to be no where. Many times throughout the book the boy wants to stop and not continue on anymore, but his father won't have it. He encourages his son to continue on down this road, even though they are always hungry and always thirsty, they still go on.
That to me is very inspiring, the love that this father has for his son, the goal he wants to reach and knows they can, all of it. It's absolutely wonderful. This place they are walking in being as it is with nothing left, leaves the source of food very unlikely to have; drinks as well. The water is filled with dirt, ash and even dead bodies. I would go thirsty as well. Whenever they do come to houses that look just safe enough to walk through they search for canned foods. Anything they can salvage to take and eat when they stop for the nights.
Throughout the book they do find food and very rarely drink, but they still manage to walk and keep up high spirits. They are thankful to be alive, nothing could be better than being alive and having each other. They run into trouble a few times including crazy people who cook human parts to eat. Thankfully the dad carries a gun in case anything life threatening comes their way; something did, he needed the gun to save his son and himself.
The father is not feeling to well as the book continues. He wakes up coughing so hard that he starts to cough up blood; he is not doing too well. As they stay walking down this road he doesn’t get any better, in fact he gets worse by the day. Toward the end of the book the dad ends up dying but thankfully another family who is also walking the road runs into the boy. They allow him to join with them and continue on their long journey to what still seems to nowhere.
The boy and his father are walking along a road somewhere in the United States. We are never told exactly where but we do know that they are walking south. The narrator is describing the surroundings as very ashy. First thing I think of is "oh, there was a fire, the whole city is burned, and basically nothing left of this place." Well as they keep walking, the description of the surroundings never changes. Now that’s a little odd to me. How would the whole entire country looking like this? Burned to nothing.
The boy and his father continue down this road to what seems to be no where. Many times throughout the book the boy wants to stop and not continue on anymore, but his father won't have it. He encourages his son to continue on down this road, even though they are always hungry and always thirsty, they still go on.
That to me is very inspiring, the love that this father has for his son, the goal he wants to reach and knows they can, all of it. It's absolutely wonderful. This place they are walking in being as it is with nothing left, leaves the source of food very unlikely to have; drinks as well. The water is filled with dirt, ash and even dead bodies. I would go thirsty as well. Whenever they do come to houses that look just safe enough to walk through they search for canned foods. Anything they can salvage to take and eat when they stop for the nights.
Throughout the book they do find food and very rarely drink, but they still manage to walk and keep up high spirits. They are thankful to be alive, nothing could be better than being alive and having each other. They run into trouble a few times including crazy people who cook human parts to eat. Thankfully the dad carries a gun in case anything life threatening comes their way; something did, he needed the gun to save his son and himself.
The father is not feeling to well as the book continues. He wakes up coughing so hard that he starts to cough up blood; he is not doing too well. As they stay walking down this road he doesn’t get any better, in fact he gets worse by the day. Toward the end of the book the dad ends up dying but thankfully another family who is also walking the road runs into the boy. They allow him to join with them and continue on their long journey to what still seems to nowhere.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Divorce, it sucks for the kids
Here's a thought, Divorce. I never really thought much about it until last night as I was waiting for Joshua to hurl. A guy and a girl fall in love. They think they are perfect for each other, and they marry and have kids. Somewhere along the way, they realize they were wrong. That either, one, or both have changed, that they were immature at the start, something happens, that makes them separate. They jump through the legal hoops, yada yada yada, and everything is hunky dory, right? Wrong.
What about the kids? They are made from, and only from, parts of the parents. Obviously it isn't a 50/50 ratio, but a kid is made up of both. Now when the parents split, what sort of outlook to the future does that give the child? "Mommy and Daddy can't live together anymore, but that doesn't involve you, you'll be fine." Think of the inner struggles a child can go through. It was easy for the parents to just give up, to split, but what about the kid? They can't just leave parts of themselves. The child is stuck as this chemical makeup, which has been proven to be volatile, or at least unstable. But instead of separate identities, it is all in one cornucopia we like to call a person. What did that child do to deserve this constant internal conflict?
Moral of the story: Till death do you part; or Stay together for the kids.
What about the kids? They are made from, and only from, parts of the parents. Obviously it isn't a 50/50 ratio, but a kid is made up of both. Now when the parents split, what sort of outlook to the future does that give the child? "Mommy and Daddy can't live together anymore, but that doesn't involve you, you'll be fine." Think of the inner struggles a child can go through. It was easy for the parents to just give up, to split, but what about the kid? They can't just leave parts of themselves. The child is stuck as this chemical makeup, which has been proven to be volatile, or at least unstable. But instead of separate identities, it is all in one cornucopia we like to call a person. What did that child do to deserve this constant internal conflict?
Moral of the story: Till death do you part; or Stay together for the kids.
Free Write
Pregnancy…what to say. It’s a blessing from God. A very crazy experience for any girl to go through, it has its ups and it has a lot of downs.
There are too many things I am told not to do, which I ignore, and I’m pretty sure my ignorance is what got me into the hospital three times in the past month. All three times hooked up to IV’s because of dehydration. Too much sugar can send a pregnant girl into labor. My favorite part of staying in the hospital was getting woke up by the nurses so they could check my blood pressure and pulse. It really sucks having that elastic band wrapped around your belly all day and night! My baby didn’t like it! She kicked it all night. That’s really the best part of this whole experience. Knowing that she is okay helps me sleep at night. My worst fear is going to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling her move and them telling me that she’s not okay. I couldn’t imagine how someone could feel knowing that there was a baby who was healthy and perfectly fine one day and the next not. I haven’t had her yet and I will tell you I have never been more attached to or in love with anything in my entire life! It really is true that you can love someone without even meeting them. That someone is your child.
It really sucks that no man can ever experience how it feels to be pregnant. They say a dad really knows what it’s like once they see their child for the first time. But a woman knows while she’s pregnant. Feeling the baby makes it seem so real. It’s so hard to explain to anyone. Even to a woman who’s had a baby. Its love! Something that can’t be explained. I wonder how a dad feels about his child (ren). I wonder what goes through man’s head when he looks at or holds his child for the first time.
I wonder how different my life will be. I am always told that my life will be over and new one will begin, called “our” life. My life had changed a lot since I’ve been pregnant. Just knowing made me change so many things I do and the way I do things. Believe it or not my driving has changed dramatically! Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job and I know can’t afford a ticket, OR maybe it’s because I’m scared something might happen and I don’t want to hurt my baby.
I’ve been told that when you’re pregnant you have crazy dreams! A friend of mine has told me about crazy dreams and even day dreams she has had. She says she used to daydream about drowning her daughter, or how her daughter was having an asthma attack in the back of the car and the radio was up too loud to hear her so she died. That makes me nervous about what I may think about. I have had dreams about going to bed pregnant and waking up with a baby!
It’s crazy what you think about, not just about yourself, but others too.
There are too many things I am told not to do, which I ignore, and I’m pretty sure my ignorance is what got me into the hospital three times in the past month. All three times hooked up to IV’s because of dehydration. Too much sugar can send a pregnant girl into labor. My favorite part of staying in the hospital was getting woke up by the nurses so they could check my blood pressure and pulse. It really sucks having that elastic band wrapped around your belly all day and night! My baby didn’t like it! She kicked it all night. That’s really the best part of this whole experience. Knowing that she is okay helps me sleep at night. My worst fear is going to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling her move and them telling me that she’s not okay. I couldn’t imagine how someone could feel knowing that there was a baby who was healthy and perfectly fine one day and the next not. I haven’t had her yet and I will tell you I have never been more attached to or in love with anything in my entire life! It really is true that you can love someone without even meeting them. That someone is your child.
It really sucks that no man can ever experience how it feels to be pregnant. They say a dad really knows what it’s like once they see their child for the first time. But a woman knows while she’s pregnant. Feeling the baby makes it seem so real. It’s so hard to explain to anyone. Even to a woman who’s had a baby. Its love! Something that can’t be explained. I wonder how a dad feels about his child (ren). I wonder what goes through man’s head when he looks at or holds his child for the first time.
I wonder how different my life will be. I am always told that my life will be over and new one will begin, called “our” life. My life had changed a lot since I’ve been pregnant. Just knowing made me change so many things I do and the way I do things. Believe it or not my driving has changed dramatically! Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job and I know can’t afford a ticket, OR maybe it’s because I’m scared something might happen and I don’t want to hurt my baby.
I’ve been told that when you’re pregnant you have crazy dreams! A friend of mine has told me about crazy dreams and even day dreams she has had. She says she used to daydream about drowning her daughter, or how her daughter was having an asthma attack in the back of the car and the radio was up too loud to hear her so she died. That makes me nervous about what I may think about. I have had dreams about going to bed pregnant and waking up with a baby!
It’s crazy what you think about, not just about yourself, but others too.
My Moods
I'm a moody person. I think I've always realized this, but only recently I'm learning how much my moods, and changing of moods shape my life. I don't know if it's something I should work to overcome, or something I should learn to accept as part of me...Where is the line that defines the difference between a low self-esteem and a constant desire to be more than what you are?
I was thinking that I have never given my full attention and devotion to any 1 thing for an extended period of time. Sure, I've felt inspired from a book and changed my outlook on life and sometimes my behavior, but whether I've lost focus and drive, or was so successful in integrating that change that it now feels normal, I'm not sure. Part of the necessity to read books is the mnemic ability to keep yourself accountable. I don't think I posses that skill. That doesn't mean I'm not going to read, but it possibly means that I don't know how to read effectively.
At church on Sunday, I couldn't keep focus because there was a gentlemen a few rows in front of me that was taking notes, it seemed at least, and he filled at least 5 notebook pages. I want to know why these people take notes. Is the simple act of writing it down enough for them to gain an extra level of retention or comprehension? Do they save the notes? Do the ever really refer to their notes later? How much later? Will this strategy work for me?
That’s the real question though. We all have our own tricks and skills and downfalls. At what point do we accept our abilities and deal with what we have? Do we believe that we can maintain a constant state of better ourselves in our lives? Someone could dedicate their life to improving themselves in all areas, but even then they’d probably fail to do anything worthwhile because they spent their whole life learning.
Sometimes, I’m in the mood to read. Sometimes, I want to improve my abilities to understand and comprehend. Sometimes, I’m so sick of it all I just want to give up and do nothing. Sometimes, I just want to sit around and talk about it all. Sometimes, there’s no time for any of that.
I was thinking that I have never given my full attention and devotion to any 1 thing for an extended period of time. Sure, I've felt inspired from a book and changed my outlook on life and sometimes my behavior, but whether I've lost focus and drive, or was so successful in integrating that change that it now feels normal, I'm not sure. Part of the necessity to read books is the mnemic ability to keep yourself accountable. I don't think I posses that skill. That doesn't mean I'm not going to read, but it possibly means that I don't know how to read effectively.
At church on Sunday, I couldn't keep focus because there was a gentlemen a few rows in front of me that was taking notes, it seemed at least, and he filled at least 5 notebook pages. I want to know why these people take notes. Is the simple act of writing it down enough for them to gain an extra level of retention or comprehension? Do they save the notes? Do the ever really refer to their notes later? How much later? Will this strategy work for me?
That’s the real question though. We all have our own tricks and skills and downfalls. At what point do we accept our abilities and deal with what we have? Do we believe that we can maintain a constant state of better ourselves in our lives? Someone could dedicate their life to improving themselves in all areas, but even then they’d probably fail to do anything worthwhile because they spent their whole life learning.
Sometimes, I’m in the mood to read. Sometimes, I want to improve my abilities to understand and comprehend. Sometimes, I’m so sick of it all I just want to give up and do nothing. Sometimes, I just want to sit around and talk about it all. Sometimes, there’s no time for any of that.
Drama/Gossip
I have discovered that there are few things in this life more annoying than “gossipers” and this town seems to be full of them. Crawfordsville seems to me like it is the central hub of the world for gossip, because no matter what if something happens, EVERYONE knows about it within ten minutes of it occurring. I think what makes this worse for me than your average Joe is that I unfortunately happen to work at a place chocked full of drama, Wal-Mart. No matter what, there is always something happening at work with someone in some department. Someone is making someone else mad, or someone called in a left someone else with all of the work...I would love for just one day to go to work and not have to deal with all of the drama that occurs, is that too much to ask? I think that this world relies too much on drama today, and unfortunately we all listen to it entirely too much, maybe we should take more seriously that age-old adage “if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”
The Road
“The Road,” by Cormac McCarthy was a very interesting book. There were so many things that you would miss if you weren’t paying attention. It was not the fact that you missed words, but how they were said in the story. You could almost hear the man speaking. I know that the story wasn’t really the big upper that a lot of people would have liked, but it did leave you with a little glimmer of hope. I know that this is morbid, but some of my favorite parts were where he described certain gory scenes. I could almost see all of the people that were in the basement of the farm house, and I could hear their screams when they cried for help. I know how the man felt for his child and I knew that I would be the same way with my own children. I would keep going for them; I would starve myself so they could eat; and I would sacrifice myself to save them. I know how this man feels for his son; but I don’t know it to the extremes that the father did. The father is the perfect image of what every parent should feel if all hell breaks loose. I enjoyed this book, though it ended in a cheap way.
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