Free Write

Pregnancy…what to say. It’s a blessing from God. A very crazy experience for any girl to go through, it has its ups and it has a lot of downs.
There are too many things I am told not to do, which I ignore, and I’m pretty sure my ignorance is what got me into the hospital three times in the past month. All three times hooked up to IV’s because of dehydration. Too much sugar can send a pregnant girl into labor. My favorite part of staying in the hospital was getting woke up by the nurses so they could check my blood pressure and pulse. It really sucks having that elastic band wrapped around your belly all day and night! My baby didn’t like it! She kicked it all night. That’s really the best part of this whole experience. Knowing that she is okay helps me sleep at night. My worst fear is going to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling her move and them telling me that she’s not okay. I couldn’t imagine how someone could feel knowing that there was a baby who was healthy and perfectly fine one day and the next not. I haven’t had her yet and I will tell you I have never been more attached to or in love with anything in my entire life! It really is true that you can love someone without even meeting them. That someone is your child.
It really sucks that no man can ever experience how it feels to be pregnant. They say a dad really knows what it’s like once they see their child for the first time. But a woman knows while she’s pregnant. Feeling the baby makes it seem so real. It’s so hard to explain to anyone. Even to a woman who’s had a baby. Its love! Something that can’t be explained. I wonder how a dad feels about his child (ren). I wonder what goes through man’s head when he looks at or holds his child for the first time.
I wonder how different my life will be. I am always told that my life will be over and new one will begin, called “our” life. My life had changed a lot since I’ve been pregnant. Just knowing made me change so many things I do and the way I do things. Believe it or not my driving has changed dramatically! Maybe it’s because I don’t have a job and I know can’t afford a ticket, OR maybe it’s because I’m scared something might happen and I don’t want to hurt my baby.
I’ve been told that when you’re pregnant you have crazy dreams! A friend of mine has told me about crazy dreams and even day dreams she has had. She says she used to daydream about drowning her daughter, or how her daughter was having an asthma attack in the back of the car and the radio was up too loud to hear her so she died. That makes me nervous about what I may think about. I have had dreams about going to bed pregnant and waking up with a baby!
It’s crazy what you think about, not just about yourself, but others too.